


the one thing stronger than fear

by SpaceUnicornDot



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M, John's Region
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 05:59:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19661269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceUnicornDot/pseuds/SpaceUnicornDot
Summary: John is dead, his bunker burned, and Alastar is finally reunited with the one person that means more than the world to him, but it's all come at a steep price of rubbing at raw memories from the past. Faith and Jacob remain, and the people of Hope County still need them... He's just not quite sure he's got that fight in him.





	the one thing stronger than fear

**Author's Note:**

> A huge shout out to @farcryfuckmeup from Tumblr/@meganhamner99 for giving me the kick of inspiration I needed to actually sit down and finally write this. I know our little chat was brief cause we're both too shy to start things, but it was a huge help to talk about the game again, and just really fun!
> 
> And this definitely took a few sittings to work through. I have a lot of emotions, and the heat of this was not easy on them. :,-) But I've needed to write something for this basically since I played the game, so it's about damn time. xD

Even before the adrenaline had begun to wear off, all Alastar had wanted was rest. But there had still been work to do once they'd left John's bunker burning behind them. The people Joey and him had managed to free from the bunker needed checked over and somewhere to stay. And, rightfully so, the people of Fall's End wanted to celebrate.

There'd been many people - almost too many - to congratulate him on killing John, ending his reign of terror over the Valley. And he hadn't the heart to turn down their invitation to stay, especially when Mary May said she'd be taking them all back to the Spread Eagle.

But, he had to admit, their happiness was a bit contagious. So, with a wry grin, he'd taken a couple drinks with the people that had helped them all get this far. Nick was adamant to share a few rounds between them at the bar. Couples and friends danced to a blasting radio that filled the bar with noise, new allies chatted over beers, and, in general, people were celebrating. And rightfully so.

They all deserved this, after everything they'd been through with the Project. But they weren't finished yet, and that was still a heavy weight sitting on his chest and weighing on his shoulders.

Hours into the night, the partying gradually died down as those who remained broke off into groups, turning in for the night after a long fight or taking their celebrations elsewhere. It left just him and Joey at the bar, Mary May excusing herself to tend to other things with a small, seemingly knowing smile and a pat on his arm, and Jerome had already turned his attention earlier to the survivors who may need some further assistance.

In the quiet, everything finally had time to catch up to him, and Alastar leaned heavily against the bar, arms braced against its sturdy surface, toying lightly with the bottle of beer he'd barely touched. He'd had more than enough of them for the night, mostly accepting the multiple rounds to spend the time with friends, nursing them quietly. Joey's arm barely brushed against his - perhaps the most grounding thing he'd had in a while.

"You really did it..," she finally said quietly after a while in silence.

Alastar inhaled slowly, shaking his head slightly. "No.., _we_ did." He shifted on his stool, sitting back, but his movements were slow and stiff. Exhaustion seemed to be dug into his very bones, and no one had made it out of fighting the Peggies without injury. The weeks it had taken to get to this point hadn't been easy.

John had made sure of that.

Joey huffed lightly beside him, making him turn a look at her with a slightly concerned, questioning brow raised. She smiled, already shaking her head. "No... I mean _all_ of this..."

Alastar bit back a groan, though a weak, half-hearted ghost of a smile briefly tugged at the corner of his lips. "Certainly not alone."

"But you managed to pull them together." Alastar shook his head again, and she narrowed her eyes at the attempt to brush off her words. " _Alastar_."

"You said it yourself... These are good people... What were we supposed to do..?"

It was almost painful to look at. In the dim light of the bar, she could still tell he was run ragged, well past his limits. The bastard had a heart of gold even on a good day, but...

Her expression faltered and she shook her head against the sting that threatened her eyes. She didn't want to deal with that shit again. She'd had enough of weakness and the constant memories to last her the rest of her damn life. Taking another long swig from the bottle took the edge off, but it was still there, and now it was her leaning heavy against the bar.

"I meant it..." Her voice was strained. "I... I don't think I could blame you if... if you hadn't come back..."

His jaw set as he closed his eyes again, head dropping once more, all but defeated. It was something just as palpable as it was impossible to imagine. When he'd initially gotten his bearings in Dutch's bunker after the old man had saved him, it'd seemed so... impossible. Overwhelming. Nobody else was coming. Everyone else had been taken by the Cult, and god only knew what was happening to them for it.

Staci and Earl, maybe even the Marshal... They were all still out there.

And thinking of it brought an unsteady shake to his whole form. John being _dead_ still didn't feel all too real. And yet he couldn't even say he was waiting to wake up and find it all to be some sort of dream, or sick, twisted nightmare. At this point, he wasn't sure which would really be better, which seemed more plausible.

"I know..," Joey continued shakily, "I _know_ he got to you... And don't you lie to me... You... You _can't_..."

He swallowed hard, uncomfortably, painfully aware of John's writing across his chest. He could still _feel_ John pinning him down, or how his hands had wrapped around his throat.

"It reminded you of... of _her_.., didn't it?" she asked quietly.

Tears glistened in her eyes when he finally looked over at her, and a few already trailed down her cheeks, despite her best efforts. He nodded wordlessly, one hand straying protectively over his lower arm.

It was why he'd moved all the way across the country from New York... something like six years ago now, it had to be... _Grace_. And she'd been anything but...He'd barely wanted to let his own partner near him after that night, couldn't stand to let him in with anything on him from work - gun, cuffs, hell.., not even his badge.

Had John Seed ever known about any of that? He didn't know... He really didn't _want_ to know... His connections and his money and lies ran so deep, so twisted, that it was terrifyingly possible that the Baptist had known all along. The fucking Project had locked the county in its iron grip. Not even the _feds_ could do _shit_ about this now.

Even if any of them could have fucking gotten away, would they have been believed? Would they have sent enough?

Would there have been _anything_ , _anyone_ left to save?

"You could have just... _run_..." It wasn't much more than a hoarse whisper. Joey's fist balled against the bar top, tears streaking down her cheeks now in full force, with no real energy to try to stop them yet again. "I... I..." To think about it made her sick, and Alastar's silence beside her only made it worse.

Did they really both already know?

Alastar inhaled shakily and knocked back a long swig from his bottle.

"I couldn't blame you," she finally choked out, shaking her head and turning away to brush her arm across her face. "I couldn't... I... I don't know if I'd _fucking_ go back..." And it was _awful_. But knowing? Being down there in that _fucking_ bunker with that _monster?_

None of this should have fucking happened. _No one_ should have to even _think_ about making that choice, let alone actually have to make it.

And it was just as terrifying as it was repulsive.

Alastar's teeth worked over his lip as he stared down at the bar. For someone you loved, you so _desperately_ wanted to say that they would have done the same, had the roles been reversed. But it'd been hard enough to face reality as it was, let alone try to imagine it... if...

He finally shook his head. "I wouldn't blame you..," he managed quietly, barely much more than a strained murmur he almost doubted she could hear. "Everything's just..." He dragged a hand over his face. "It's a fucking mess..."

Joey nodded in agreement, her grip tightening around the bottle in her hand. He was absolutely right, and nobody should have to deal with this shit. The familiar anger of it came back to her, as it had been in waves ever since their meet-up in the bunker. One minute it was this crushing weight she couldn't imagine having the strength to bear, and the next, it left her with fire burning in her veins.

Those _fucking_ Seeds, and their _fucking_ Project... Saving people? Really? By.., what? Kidnapping, torture, and murder?

"It's not over yet," she said. "Faith and Jacob are still out there."

Alastar noticeably flinched from the words, if only for a moment, an uneasy grimace faintly dragging at his worn features. He shook his head, "I'm not sure I'm cut for that bill, Joey..."

"Bullshit," she snapped. He closed his eyes tightly, and she nearly regretted her words almost instantly. He'd had more than enough people pressuring him to be the kick in the ass they all needed, that the _Cult_ needed, but... She dragged her teeth over her lower lip for a moment with a single, slight shake of her head. "I... Look, you can't give up on these people now. It's more than anyone has the right to ask, but Joseph's not going to let this go lightly. We're not finished."

His teeth dug into his lower lip again, breathing a bit shortened and ragged. She was right. Of course, she was fucking right. Earl was still out there; _god_ , if there still was one, he _prayed_ Earl was still alive, and Staci... John had only been one piece of the puzzle, and he'd seen more than enough to keep him up at night - probably for the next couple years. What were they supposed to do, just leave them out there?

She was right... Joseph would probably come down harder on them all for John's death.

By then, he was shaking, and he jumped when Joey's hand brushed lightly against his arm.

"Joey, I... I..."

"I'm sorry," she murmured, eyes falling to the floor for a moment. She was right about that, too. None of them had the right to ask. No one should have to fucking put up with all of this shit. But they were out of options. The Cult was going to come for them either way. At least, if they fought... maybe they'd have a chance... "I didn't..."

She shook her head and scooted closer, wrapping both arms around him, fingers brushing through his hair lightly. "We'll get to that, cowboy... First things first, you need some rest. Then we can get back to kicking some Peggie ass, alright?"

It took him a few moments, a few more uneasy breaths, but, finally, Alastar nodded in agreement. "Whitehorse.., Pratt..."

"We gotta believe they're still out there," Joey said. "And we'll find them. You found me. We have to..."

They had to try. Giving in now just... No. It wasn't an option. This whole shitshow needed to be stopped before anyone could really rest easy again.

Alastar smiled, and, despite how faint and exhausted it was, it was definitely more genuine this time. "Thank you," he murmured quietly.

Joey simply smiled back, elbowing his arm lightly. "So.., what do you say we call it a night?"

He nodded in agreement, draining the last of his beer. "I think that's a good idea. Maybe take a few days, figure out where to go from here..."

"Make a bit of a game plan," Joey agreed. But, as he said, they could figure that out later. Everyone needed a few days to breathe after the hell they'd just survived. She gently pulled him with her out of their seats at the bar and they headed out, Joey tucked in under Alastar's arm.

They had to believe they could get through this if they kept focused, had to believe in a light on the other side. They had to have _Hope_.

And this was only the beginning...


End file.
